I’m a bit frustrated at the moment, and unfortunately its making me cranky!
Im a Nurse and have been for 12 years now. Before having my kids I worked full time, took every opportunity given to me, attended every course whether it was a day course, several days, interstate, or a course that extended over a full year. I studied extra in my specialty, I studied extra in Women’s health and I was hoping to do more work in Women’s health until I had a miscarriage my first pregnancy and the field I was hoping to branch out into made me too uncomfortable for a period of time. Then when I was pregnant again, it was the type of field that would make both the patient and myself uncomfortable. So knowing that my future would probably involve more children, I took a step back and decided the timing wasn’t right. Between my two babies I worked two days a week, one full day and two 4 hour evenings. This worked really well until I returned to work after having my second and I decided to go back two full days rather than splitting it over three days.
Anyway, my kids don’t go to childcare. We have help from my parents one day one week and two days the following week. It works for us and it’s saved us money on childcare costs. I feel very fortunate that my parents are so willing to help, and appreciate it so much. It means that when the kids are sick, I can usually still work, and I don’t call in sick for no reason.
So with changes brewing at work, Ive heard a whisper that those who only work a small amount MAY be worse off. I don’t know this, and its possibly something I’m making up in my head, but its really got me thinking, and a little ticked off!
My husband and I made choices long before we had kids and were even married. We bought a house that’s affordable, a car that’s affordable and we have a lifestyle that’s affordable. We don’t stress about our mortgage, we don’t have car loans and we are overall pretty happy with our lifestyle. It’s meant that I don’t have to go back to work full time and we can survive with my two day a week wage. If I were to go back to work more than two days, we would definitely be looking at childcare for one and OSCH for the other, which would not be the end of the world, but if we can avoid it thats good.
But what ticks me off is: how many days is enough? As I said, I have studied and worked to be in my employment. Ive been working for 12 years in said employment, and prior to that worked in retail from the age of 14 until I began Nursing when i was 21. So Ive ALWAYS had a job since the age of 14. Im sure there’s so many women out there in the same boat. I work two days a week and always feel like I should be working more. Am I slack, unmotivated and lazy because I only work two days? Should I be swept aside because I only work two days? Am I nothing now that my kids and family come first, so just move me along and make way for those without family commitments….yet!
And for those who work Full Time, do you get guilted for working TOO MUCH? Not enough time spent with your family. Not enough time to cook, clean, take care of your family? And those who don’t work at all, are you guilted for that? Are we all guilted as mums regardless? Just add that guilt to every other type of mum guilt we experience every day!
I think what annoys me is that you can be sensible in High School, finished Uni with decent grades, work well for a number of years and once you have your family do you become undesirable for a period of time until your children grow up and you can take more on? I’m going to be a little sexist and generalise here, but in an occupation like mine I would assume there’s a LARGE percentage of women around my age with families that they are the main carer for.
Like I said, I’m making assumptions and guessing about my future, which is probably very silly. But it’s really something I’m passionate about. My kids and family are my life, and with my husband building his own business, I feel the majority of my time needs to be supporting the family and doing the ‘behind the scenes’ family stuff. My small biz contributes of course. Its something I love, gives me a challenge, makes some extra pocket money and makes me happy. It’s something I can do when my kids go to bed, and order packaging, photographs etc can be done while they’re at home with me.
So basically I’m struggling with the fact that once you have kids and they become your priority, you become undesirable at work. The two days of work I’ll put in my all and can still be a valuable team member!
Has this struck a cord with any other part time working mums? Let me know how you feel about it in the comments.
P.s. I just want to let you know that no matter what capacity you work at…you’re all doing a KICK ASS job!
Tiffany xo
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